As I slowly made my way to jury duty this am, I looked at a seemingly barren tree, lifeless with dry branches. This tree was surrounded by several other trees in full bloom. It’s the kiss of spring, I though and there was beauty all around the out of place dried up tree; apparently late to the blooming party.
The reason I mention this particular tree, is because this tree as barren & dry as it seemed, it was not. You see, there was one single white flower blooming.
This particular morning I was feeling out of sorts. Feeling invisible…and upset at the frailties of my body. I try not to dwell on those self depreciation moments & move on. I truly do feel blessed & grateful for life. Anyway, as I kept trying to unsuccessfully cheer & pep myself up, I kept telling myself that all is as it should be. This inner dialogue continued all morning long right up until I saw the lonesome pretty flower. I stopped and stared at the tree and the entire area covered with many other trees filled with pretty flowers in direct contrast to the dry tree with only one flower growing in its branches. I felt protective of the tree I knew it was alive, despite its state.
I was very early and so I didn’t mind just standing there. The day was beaming with bright sunshine, barely a cloud on the vast blue sky. As I motioned to leave, a beautiful bird flew to the tree & began singing. It was such a surreal & beautiful sight. The bird could have gone to any other of the full flowered, blooming trees, but instead the bird went to my tree. Yeah, don’t judge me I kinda adopted the tree in my subconscious ☺️
Seeing the scene unfold before my eyes, I began comparing myself to the tree. It fell off—something wasn’t right. I would retort in disagreement, Ada things will make sense some day. I would ask myself why this disconnect? Why can’t I find a thing to connect to that isn’t tied to duty, expectations and tremendous effort on my part? Why have I always felt like I’m on this planet–this earth without belonging? There is the huge inner awareness of my strangeness, my alieness. I don’t belong anywhere. Even when I was very little, I was always aware of this lack of connection to the world I was born into.
The tree was full of life and the bird chose to deliver its song from the tree with only one flower. The beauty of life & nature, the pretty tree with the single white flower exudes life and was loved by the pretty bird with the sweet song. The bird saw something on the tree that the other trees, as beautiful & blooming with flowers as they were, did not have. I smiled and said to myself, I am alive & I am too blooming, flourishing in the love of God!
I’ll go visit the tree and enjoy seeing it grow & bloom at its own time, at it’s own pace!!!!
Love, Joy & sunshine ☀️